


The Possibility of Silence and the Reality of Sound

by crossroadswrite



Series: beAUtiful tropes (au-a-thon challenge) [8]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, EMT Derek Hale, Happy Ending, Injured Stiles Stilinski, M/M, Minor OC Death, Slow Build, Week 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 02:08:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3592305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crossroadswrite/pseuds/crossroadswrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek grew up knowing that soulmates are something to be cherished, so when he got a voice in his head, childish thoughts and flashes of color and objects, he’d excitedly jumped on his mother’s bed to tell her. She had smiled, ruffled his hair and told him how she was proud of him, even though Derek hadn’t really done anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Possibility of Silence and the Reality of Sound

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ang3lba3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ang3lba3/gifts).



> From the prompt:  
> [ ➥a voice (not yours, your soulmate’s) appears in the back of your head, thinking about or commenting on whatever your soulmate happens to be doing at the time. But, you can’t converse with it, and it can’t tell you any details about who/where they are. Pretty frustrating tbh au](http://legolras.tumblr.com/post/85071769133)

Derek’s sixteen and he’s tired of people side eyeing him because of the voices in his head.

Well, _voice_. Singular.

It’s not his fault that he has a soulmate, neither is it his fault that soulmates are so wrongly perceived by the rest of society just because most people don’t get one.

Derek thinks that they ought to not be that rare since his parents are soulmates and his littlest cousin Malia has started complaining about a voice inside her head, babbling back at it.

Then again maybe people side-eye him because he’ll smile or laugh out of nowhere, or roll his eyes or make a disgusted face in the most inadequate, inopportune situations.

Most of his friends are intrigued by it, asking question after question, some of his friends aren’t his friends anymore because they don’t understand it, limiting themselves to calling Derek a freak, something unnatural and walking away.

Derek knows what he has – what he’ll definitely have when he finally meets his soulmate – is something amazing. He knows it because he can see it in his parents, how they love and how they support each other, how they complement each other, fitting perfectly in the place the other has left.

Derek grew up knowing that soulmates are something to be cherished, so when he got a voice in his head, childish thoughts and flashes of color and objects, he’d excitedly jumped on his mother’s bed to tell her. She had smiled, ruffled his hair and told him how she was proud of him, even though Derek hadn’t really done anything.

Having a soulmate was more like being visited by your fairy godmother and be given a gift than working towards your goal. It’s Cinderella versus The Princess and the Frog.

His soulmate is younger than him. He can tell that much even though he can’t possibly know who he is since the bond censors all directed thought.

They can’t talk to each other even if they really want to. They can, however, think at the world around them and through that he knows his soulmate is younger and lives in the same town and has all these expectations about life and about Derek. That’s how he knows h has an energy inside him that is so intense, so all consuming that it leaks through the bond and makes Derek fidgety, sometimes gives him that extra boost, allows him to run that extra mile just to dispel it.

When he’s sixteen he honestly can’t wait to meet him.

But then he’s sixteen and a half and it’s truly impressive how in the same year, the snap of a moment can destroy your world.

When he’s sixteen and a half his father tells him he’s going into town to buy his aunt pears because she’s pregnant and has a craving.

“You don’t want your littlest cousin to come out looking like a pear, do you Derek?” he asks, ruffling his hair.

Derek just huffs and doesn’t think much of it, ducks his father’s hand when he tries to tug on his ears just like when Derek was younger. He has a suspicion that’s why he hasn’t quite grown into them yet.

“Be back in a moment,” he had said cheerfully, one hand around his mother’s waist as he kissed her on the cheek, “seems like it’s going to rain, better hurry anyways.”

His mother had patted him on the butt and told him to hurry up so he wouldn’t be late for dinner. Derek and his younger sister had made a disgusted noise and told them to stop, mindlessly going back to their Smash Bros game.

Neither of them ever expected for him to not come back.

It had started raining barely seven minutes after he had left the house and none of them had paid it no mind.

His heavily pregnant aunt was getting her feet rubbed by Uncle Peter, Mom was in her study pouring over her law books, Cora and Derek were playing video games and Laura had been up in her room talking with her crush du jour.

The very first sign that something had been wrong had been the loud crash from his mother’s office.

Looking back maybe they should’ve gone to check on that, but Derek was a teenager and Cora was barely one and teenagers are remarkably notorious for being lazy and never expecting to be needed by adults. They’re always the ones needing.

They were in the middle of a battle to the death in Smash Brothers and Cora was kicking his butt, even though Derek was clearly at a disadvantage since he had to focus on the screen and on the endless stream of thought and personal monologue his soulmate kept up at all times.

His uncle was too busy trying to please his wife so she’d allow him back on the bed.

(They always had their fights, for them it was like foreplay and honestly less disgusting to watch than his own parents actually flirting. Every other month Peter would end up sleeping on the couch and now that her Aunt was pregnant again every other month had turned to every other week.)

He doesn’t know what Laura was doing but her door was closed and her music was acting as background noise, so really he didn’t want to know. He’d learn the hard way not to walk in on his sister without knocking when she was playing loud music.

They only really notice when their mother stumbles down the stairs, shaking and sobbing, knees giving out under her as soon as she reaches the bottom step.

“I can’t hear him anymore. I can’t hear him, I can’t hear him I can’t-“ she says frantically, panicked.

Uncle Peter had rushed to her side; Cora had dropped her remote and Derek had jerk up on instinct, rushing to his mother’s side a steady mantra of _something’s wrong, something’s wrong something’s wrong_ going through his head.

His soulmate shuts up. Derek can feel his thoughts pause for a minute before he’s enveloped with the image of warm steady arms around him, protecting and safe.

“Mom?”

“I can’t-“ she shakes her hand, sobbing.

Derek registers Aunt Jess on the phone with someone, he thinks the 911 and he hopes it is, hopes help is coming.

“It’s too late, it’s too late I can’t hear him anymore.”

That’s when he realizes just the all-encompassing meaning of that sentence. He takes half a step back, stumbles over the rug and falls.

“Dad,” he chokes out.

His mother clutches at his ears, eyes firmly shut, “It’s so quiet,” she whispers. Keeps whispering until help comes.

When Derek’s sixteen and a half he watches as his mother’s world is taken into fate’s hand and thrown at a wall carelessly; watches as whatever rules life drops something precious just for the sake of seeing it break.

It’s right then and there that he completely and fully understands just how dangerous it is to have a soulmate and suddenly he’s scared out of his wits, because his dad is _dead_ and he’s seeing his mom destroy herself from the inside, realizing he’s got that particular time bomb inside his brain, just waiting to go off.

The image of hugging, the concept of warmth and safety presses harder in his mind and he has no idea how his soulmate is cheating the bond’s natural censor of directed thought, but he knows it’s the only thing keeping him from completely falling apart and he’s already screwed if he has to rely on someone he has never met to keep breathing.

«»

His dad dies in a car crash, swerving off the street and into a tree over some mutt who was wondering the streets in the pouring rain.

He knows – overhears it accidentally or not so accidentally – that he didn’t die immediately. He could’ve been saved, but the EMTs didn’t get there on time so he bled out in his car, alone.

Derek never quite has the guts to ask his mom what his last thought was.

«»

When Derek starts studying to become an EMT and stops altogether talking about his soulmate, no one even dares question him, even though his soulmate is always there, in the back of his mind through it all just like he always was.

«»

Derek is trying to coach a little girl to let go of her cat so he can look at her wounds while his soulmate is in the middle of a monologue about the pros and cons of circumcision.

Derek is pretty sure he’s doing it on purpose, especially because this thing only started after Derek had to study for finals in college which were hard enough without someone else in your mind yammering about some online gaming community.

He doesn’t talk about when he was taking the actual exam his soulmate had nudged him in the right direction, remembering all the material Derek had studied, because that still gives him this deep seated sense of contentment which will lead to blind hope and he just can’t have that.

Soulmates are a dangerous thing, he reminds himself every day every time he can.

Soulmates are a dangerous th-

 _I swear if another man shiftily buys Fifty Shades of Grey I’m gonna punch something_.

Derek snorts, finally gets the girl to let go of the little ball of darkness so he can bandage her arms.

Soulmates are a dange-

 _You know what’s really cool?_ he hears his soulmate say, followed by him humming Ice Ice Baby.

Derek chokes a little on laughter.

“What are you laughing at mister?” the little girl asks, looking at him suspiciously.

“Um, nothing. I thought of something funny.”

“Did _you_? Or did a voice inside your head do?”

_Never trust little girls with cats. They’ll be the downfall of the American Empire._

“My soulmate,” he says quietly, “I’ve never met him, but he seems to be kind of an idiot.”

The girl beams.

_I resent that, shufflebutt._

“Can I tell you a secret?” she whispers lowly.

Derek looks obviously around, mocking seeing if anyone will listen in, before leaning towards her and nodding seriously.

_You’re disgustingly cute, it’s annoying._

He still doesn’t know how his soulmate bypassed the innate censurer their brains have. He has conflicted feelings about it.

“I have two soulmates,” she whispers, “I can hear ‘em and they can hear me and each other,” she beams gleefully.

“Aren’t you a lucky girl,” he tries to enthuse.

_Put some sweetener in your coffee if you want to be that fakely saccharine._

She nods solemnly, “I am. I can’t wait for them to find me.”

“What happens if they don’t?”

She frowns, tries to think about it, “Then I’ll have to hunt their dumb butts down and find them myself,” she straightens, lifting her chin in defiance.

_This girl know what’s up. High five her for me._

Derek rolls his eyes, but holds up a hand, “My idiotmate is saying I should high five you because you’re awesome.”

The girl high fives him enthusiastically and stays still for the rest of her checkup.

In his head his soulmate starts humming _One Way or Another_.

“Creepy,” he mutters, tries to transmit that thought over, finding that usual impediment in place, feels the habitual frustration that the directed thoughts is a unilateral thing.

 _Seems like the Force is not strong with this one_.

Derek rolls his eyes so hard, he’s scared he’ll need to call Scott to treat him for a popped blood vessel or a retina dislocation and is invariably left scrambling at the thought that soulmates are a dangerous thing for the rest of the day.

These days his grip on it is slippery at best.

«»

 _I hate driving in the rain_ , his soulmate thinks offhandedly.

 _Don’t!_ Derek tries to think back, once more failing spectacularly at it.

“Derek,” Scott’s voice calls out, “I’m heading out, okay. I’m meeting with Stiles over at mine’s before there’s a full blown storm outside.”

He nods distractedly, trying to ease the looming feeling he has hovering over his head that something bad might happen.

“Okay, then,” Scott mutters, obviously still upset that Derek doesn’t devote his attention to him like Isaac does, but Isaac is in puppy love with Scott so really there shouldn’t even be a comparison.

 _Driving through the scary preserve in the rain, lovely_ , his soulmate grumbles. The sense of unease starts suffocating Derek.

Thunder strikes outside and Derek flinches.

 _For whomever it may concern, I’m going to keep track of the road I’m at, and the mile, just in case_.

It’s in moments like this that he really appreciates just how smart his soulmate really is.

Derek hangs close to the ambulance bay, paying intent attention to the repetitive chant of mile after mile and name of the road his soulmate spews off, intercalated with random little thoughts that don’t really do much to ease his mind.

“Derek, can you help me with-“

“Shush.”

Isaac blinks at him, looking like a mortally offended puppy who just doesn’t understand why you won’t give him the shiny red ball back.

“Is this a weird soulmate thing?” he questions with a raise eyebrow and a judgmental look.

“Yes.”

 _If you go out in the woods today you’re sure of a big surprise,_ his soulmate singsongs, then going on a tangent about marmalade versus peanut butter.

“Pay attention to the road, you moron,” he mutters, hands fisting in his pants.

_Seriously though, how can anyone prefer marmalade to peanut bu-_

A flash of surprise goes through the bond, bone deep fear before settling again.

Derek’s up and halfway to one of the ambulances when his soulmate’s voice comes back.

 _Oh, deer!_ he chortles _Get it, because it was a deer. Ah you never appreciate my humor._

Derek sighs in relief. He swears to fuck when he meets his soulmate he’s going to punch him square in the face before asking him out for coffee.

He waves Isaac off, trying to focus again on his soulmate’s bunny hop unpredictable thoughts.

_Well that was a cl-_

 Surprise. Panic. Silence.

Derek’s head suddenly fills with overwhelming, terrible, suffocating silence.

“There’s been a car crash we need to go,” he says urgently, rushing towards the ambulance and throwing the door open.

“What, Derek what are you talking about. No one called in anything.”

“I’m calling it in!”

Isaac stops, eyes widening in understanding and horror.

“ _Shit!_ Let’s go, I’m driving!”

“I can-”

“Don’t be stupid,” his partner tells him, shoving him aside and taking hold of the wheel, “Do you know where?”

Derek rattles off the road and holds his breath for what feels like the entire trip there, quietly willing himself not to freak out.

By the looks Isaac is giving him it doesn’t really work.

«»

“Stiles!” Isaac says distressedly as soon as a beat-up blue jeep hugging a tree comes into sight.

Derek’s too focused on the slight awareness he still feels there to really register Isaac’s words. He doesn’t even try to comprehend the sounds that are supposed to be words coming out of Isaac’s mouth until they’ve come to a full stop close to the Jeep and they’re both bolting out, rain beating harshly into their skin.

Derek gets there first, skidding to a halt and seeing his soulmate for the first time.

Pale skin, dark moles, blood pooled on his forehead and running down his pretty upturned nose.

Slowly, carefully he places two fingers on his throat, feeling the steady thrum of his heart. A wave of relief crashes through him like a sledge hammer.

“Isaac get a gurney,” he orders harshly.

«»

It’s not too bad. It’s not as bad as Derek was making it up in his head to be. A couple broken ribs, a broken nose that will certainly bruise and scar, and a head trauma luckily sans brain injury.

They’re still wounds, but they’re manageable ones, they’re ones that will heal with time and proper care.

Derek sits on Stiles’s bedside, watching over him intently for any sign of further trauma, for a hitch in his breath, something that will signal that he will take an unexpected turn for the worse even if the doctors classified him as stable, said he should even wake up in a few hours.

He sits there when Scott bursts in, worried and frantic closely followed by the Sheriff who looks aggressively and desperately worried, eyes Derek critically demanding answers.

He’s still there when Scott leaves and Stiles starts gaining consciousness, slowly, his thoughts sluggish and unwilling.

The Sheriff is reluctant to leave, but finally does, having police matters to attend. He gives Derek one last look, says it’s nice to finally put a face to the endless ramblings and odes Stiles told starring him.

He leaves with the promise to call his wife, who’s out of town for a work thing and that she should be here in a while.

Derek shakes his hand politely, sits back down in lieu of sleep and watches on.

The most cruelly hilarious, ironic part isn’t the fact that he knows Stiles, that he has seen him casually around town and spared him a thought or two. No, the ultimate fuck you Hales from the universe is how Derek just met his soulmate in such a horrible way; the same way in which his mother lost hers.

Symmetry, he guesses, the universe is a sucker  for it.

«»

_Well dayum if I knew doctors could be this hot I’d get severely injured more often, no offense to my soulmate, I’m sure you’re pretty like the sun._

That’s the thought that jolts Derek out of sleep. Stiles’ first coherent thought is about how hot he is. Of course it is. He should’ve guessed it would be.

Derek blinks up at him, drops his mouth open with the million and one things he has to say. Decides on closing it and slapping his soulmate on his good side. Hard.

“Don’t _do_ that!” he chastises.

Stiles yelps, jolts a little and groans when that predictably makes the pain from his ribs and face make itself known.

“Didn’t your father ever thought you to drive with your freaking seatbelt on?” he inquires harshly, barreling on, “You could have died.”

“I’m- you- I- what!” Stiles splutters eloquently.

Derek glares, decides to poke him on the thigh which is a safer place to poke an injured person.

“EMT Hale, if you could stop hitting my injured son,” a voice comes from the doorway, taking form in Claudia Stilinski, who’s smiling with that twist of her mouth, eyes wide and worried. Her resemblance with Stiles is frankly ridiculous.

Stiles shifts his focus back to his mother, a little more careful with his movements thank goodness.

“Mom!”

“Hey, little hurricane. How are you feeling?” Claudia moves into the room reaching for her son gently and with care, running a hand through his hair.

“Mom, don’t call me that, I’m not five,” he huffs, leaning into his mother’s touch.

“You are in a hospital bed I’ll call you whatever I please after a scare like that,” she asserts, then her lips twist in a smirk, “Afraid I’ll embarrass you in front of your soulmate, _kochanie_?”

Stiles blushes slightly, turns to look at Derek with a little wonder in his eyes, “He grew up with me on his head, I’m pretty sure he knows just how embarrassing I am.”

Derek snorts, tries to smile and not look lovesick. “Not that embarrassing,” he mutters.

Stiles raises his eyebrow, “Remember middle grade,” he stops himself, blanches a little, “No wait please don’t, that was a terrible time for everyone involved.”

Derek nods solemnly. They agreed telepathically to let middle grade memories be buried down deep and wish for them to never resurface under any circumstances ever.

“Oh, but you were such a handsome little man in middle grade,” Claudia sighs, the hand on Stiles’ hair shacking slightly.

Derek wants to punch himself in the face for his inconsideration. He quickly hops off the chair and gently carries it to Claudia’s side so she can sit down.

“Sorry, you probably had a long drive.”

_Motherfucker, he’s cuter in person._

Derek blushes, clears his throat awkwardly.

_Oh no and he blushes too. This is terrible._

Derek rolls his eyes, turns to Mrs. Stilinski and gives her a run-down of Stiles’ injuries and the proper care for them.

She nods along, waits until he’s done before asking, “Have you been here since he was brought in?”

Derek shuffles his feet, shifts awkwardly. Yes, yes he had, even before that, but maybe they don’t need to know tha-

“Ohmygod you have!” Stiles half shouts, glee and a hint of fondness in his tone.

Right. He can literally read his mind. Damnit.

“What are you still doing here! You should go to sleep, have you even eaten, have you even had water? You’re going to be dehydrated!”

Derek rolls his eyes, “You’re the one who’s injured, stop fussing over me.”

“Stiles is right, honey. You really should go get some sleep, you look about ready to keel over.”

Derek hesitates.

“Don’t make me call your mother,” Claudia threatens.

“You know my mother?”

“Oh yeah, me and Talia figured out you two were soulmates ages ago, but still we let the universe do its thing. You know all those pesky little consequences of messing with it,” she twists her nose distastefully, like the laws of the universe are a constant hindrance in her life and it’s mildly upsetting.

Derek looks at Stiles, a little startled, takes comfort in the fact that his soulmate is fish mouthing at this new information, his face suddenly morphing into outrage.

Before Stiles can really go on one of his epic rants, there’s a knock on the door and his little sister is barging in, “Hey Derek you haven’t been home in like eighteen hours so mom sent me to haul your ass back, also Lahey told me that you found your- Stiles!” she startles, eyes focusing on the boy on the bed.

“Um, hi Cora.”

“Your soulmate is freaking Stiles Stilinski,” she continues disbelievingly, “do you mean to tell me that your soulmate has literally been in our house and you didn’t ever meet him until _now_.”

Derek huffs, “It’s not like it’s my fault.”

“Ugh, your life is a disaster,” Cora rolls her eyes. “But seriously, come home, go to sleep, you look like a vampire zombie. Those are the worst kind of zombies, Derek.”

Derek sighs, tries to find a good enough sentence that doesn’t sound whiny and clingy and _but he only just woke up._

“Oh boo, you don’t want to leave my charming company yet?”

“I’ve changed my mind, I’m leaving.”

“What.” Alarm and a hint of panic go through the bond, “Wait no.”

“To sleep and shower,” Derek tries to reason. Tacks on _Even if I really don’t want to._

“Oh, I _guess_ if it’s for basic needs it’s fine, I mean,” Stiles sighs.

Derek presses his lips together, he will not smile, he will not be Stiles’ enabler.

“Besides, I don’t want for the first time that I kiss you to smell like I just worked a triple shift.”

“Oh!” Stiles blushes again a little.

Cora makes a gagging noise and twists her hand on Derek’s shirt starting to haul him away.

“You have time to be sickening for the rest of your gross, joined lives.  You smell like a truckdriver and mom said she’d give me twenty bucks if I brought you with me.”

“It’s good to know you care,” he mutters stumbling after her.

“Bye Derek,” Claudia says amusedly, waving a hand weirdly in time with her son’s jerky hand motions that could kindly pass as waving.

“Bye,” he says lamely, raises his own hand for a wave.

 _I hope he comes back soon_.

Derek’s chest swells a little in his chest. He promises himself he’ll come back as soon as humanly possible, contentedly hearing Stiles’ little internal squeal when he registers the thought.

He has this gut feeling that no matter what he’ll always find his way to Stiles. Now that he found him he isn’t willing to let him go, not when experience dictates that Stiles is generally safer from natural selection when he has someone nearby.

He thinks it’s the first time after his father’s death that he thinks this could be a good thing, and he’s weirdly fine with it.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god this fic messed my writing schedule so much it might just have turned me into a white rabbit with a pocket watch because dearie me am I late.


End file.
